Rita Skeeter is the Weather Reporter
by Siriusly Prongs
Summary: I didnt have space to fit in all the title. Originally it was suposed to be: In which Wizards have TV's and Rita Skeeter is the weather reporter.


**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing!**

**Authors note: Beware of Complete Insane Randomness!! **

**Dedicated to the Lubic's**

In which Wizards Had TV's and Rita Skeeter would be Weather Reporter

"Molly, dear, we got our VT! Look! It came in the by owl post!" said Mr. Weasley very excited as he watched Pig carry a 52 inch TV across the house.

"TV! Not VT Arthur! And tell that owl to put the television in our room. We will cuddle in bed and watch the news." She said in a rather bossy sort of voice.

(The TV was settled in their room and everything was well)

"Come on Molly! It's starting! The 5 o clock news is starting" cried Mr. Weasley

**Rita Skeeter POV: **

"Hey, don't start, I haven't got my nails painted yet! O-M-G! you cant do this to me! Argh!" whined Rita.

"Shut up, woman!" yelled a crew person "Get on stage"

Rita stumbled on stage.

_Lights! Camera! Action! _ Yelled Christopher Columbus

"Hey! Aren't you the one who made the Harry Potter movies and got fired because you really sucked! Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Rita, please! You're on the air!"

"I'm on the air!" she said fearfully, her eyes widening. "No! starts sobbing uncontrollably I'm afraid of height! Help me mommy! Wahhh!"

"No! Listen to me! You are on the ground! But—"started C.C.

"Oh goody! O-M-G! You are such a liar! _First _you said I was on the air! And _now_ you say I'm on the ground! Liar, Liar, Robes on Fire!

"But Rita!" he started again

"No! I'm not listening! Yaddy, Yaddy, Yaddy, Blah, Blah, Blah, I'm not listening! Because I have a carrot in my ear!

"Um... Rita! Cut this shit! Get on with the weather business! _Bitch!_" said C.C.

"Hey, I heard that Mister! No saying bad words! Ill tell your mommy! And you'll be grounded! Muahahahahahahahaha!!! Besides, I have a carrot in my ear!"

"Rita! Ok I understood! You have a carrot I your ear and you will tell my dead mom! But _please _do the fucki— umm... the Show Must Go ON!"

"Oh goody! I've always wanted to be on the show! Ok, I'm gonna do my specialty k?" she grinned a flashy grin.

The sun will come out

Tommorow

Betcha anything

The moon will follow

The sun

Tommorow

Tommorow!

I Luv ya tomorrow!

You're only 7 hours 32 minutes and 15 seconds awaaaay

Tommorow!

Tomorrow

I hate ya tomorrow

That is gonna be the

Day I LOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEE

Rita was singing unbearably out of tune and she was screeching!

"Someone!" cried the crew member! "Get this little cock sucker off stage!" he said. "I cant take it anymore! ARGHHH!" he slammed his head HARD on the wall and no one could do anything to prevent it (except watch him drop dead,). Blood started spraying Everywhere.

I LOVE YOU TOMORROW

The sun will explode

Tomorrow

Betcha we will all DIE

ToMMOroW

And go to HEEELLLL

"SHUT UP!!" Everyone shouted.

One person got the courage to go on stage and dragged her away. This was no use as after she was on stage she yelled. "Hey Everyone! Crew member number 562Ei has Pink underwear! HAHAHAHHAH! What a SISSY!"

"Someone! Shoot her!" yelled C.C.

The camera man took out his M-16 out of his jeans pocket and started shooting! Bullets went everywhere and hit everything... except Rita. The set on stage burst into flames!

"Everyone! Run!" cried crew member 274983SON-OF-A-BIOTCH8231

Everything was a complete wreck. A disaster. Only Christopher Columbus and Rita Skeeter stayed in what was left of the stage.

Rita, quite unaware of what was happening, was sitting cross-legged on the floor and singing the magic school bus theme song.

Meanwhile, C.C. raised his personal shot gun which only had one bullet in it (a while ago, we found him on an island, next to where the Black Pearl was sited last. He was drunk and was sitting with another man: Jack Sparrow is in the Mad House. Contact 1-800-KISS-MY-ASS) Anyway, he raised his shot gun and aimed at Rita and pulled the trigger.

Everything went dead silent as blood sprayed on the screen and—

**The Burrow POV: **

_Click _

Mrs. Weasley turned off the TV.

"Hey, that was the best part!" whined Mr. Weasley

"That was the shittiest piece of shit I ever saw! The TV is all yours!" and with that Mrs. Weasley left the room.

Mr. Weasley turned on the TV again and watched the last 5 seconds of the show.

"Thank you, for watching the weather channel. Good Night" said Christopher Columbus.

Little did C.C. know that the camera was dropped and was only filming his fake all stars.

**Authors Note: Ok, this is completely retarded and this was written for fun. Read and Review!**


End file.
